Play with the city - glasgow

I have no idea how to pronounce the name of these guys… Chiodos?  So from now on they are known as That Band with the Russel Brand Lookie Likey in it.

So “That Band with the Russel Brand Lookie Likey in it” were playing King Tuts Wah Wah Hut back in the day when it was 2nd of February 2009- and they could scream out a tear of a black hearted goth’s eyeliner eye. Think Lionel Ritchie on helium gas with a big banging bass behind him, oh and a few other band members thrown in there for good measure. (Russell Brand) I wanted to ask why the Garfunkel are they shouting, are their mics shit? But noooo… I need to get out more… But hey there was a mosh pit!!!

These guys pulled in the Glasgow Emo Kids (mostly screaming star- tattooed girls) like the Pan Piper pulled in rats of London, draws them in with their little flute things. So I wasn’t a big fan of the whole emotional screaming sorrow songs before I saw them live, and well I’m still not a fan. That doesn’t mean I didn’t have a fab night out and that I didn’t enjoy the set, because i did!

Anyways me and my life love Dave where there with our fringes, our tighty whitey jeans and lumberjack shirts drinking by the pint load Tennents shandy (yes shandy, we both had our work the next day) We went with the best of them and stood in the middle of the crowd, waved our arms when the crowd did, screamed when the crowd did and hell went for a fag every five minutes as to not damage our hearing too much and to have the odd social chit chat.

I phoned Dave two days later and we were still shouting at each other through our mobiles, Chiodos are that bloody loud!

Did anyone else go to this gig? Are you in need of a hearing aid?

They are back in Glasgow in November, think Im going to make sure I don’t have work the next day and give them another bash.

http://www.myspace.com/chiodos

So I was expecting glow sticks, furry boots and men in white boiler suits. Boy I was wrong.

The Arches in Glasgow saw a fanny fantastic Friday night with Modeselektor on the 20th. The Berlin duo were so good I don’t think the bar served a single drink the whole time they were on set, the dance floor was absolutely mobed and Glasgow was jumping! My ears are still ringing, and I love it.

Now Ive been to The Arches loads of times, it is one of Glasgow’s hot spots; but I have never seen the place so busy or have I seen the dance floor so instinct with everyone having a fncking great time…

The place was swimming with cheap champaign, one from the duo to cool us all down! Thanks for that guys.

New tunes for th Qashqui, yes indeedalydee.

Modeselektor are a hard core, nose bleeding, ears ringing Berlin techno duo with a bouncy ragga edge to their tunes. They are playing at the Arches in Glasgow on the 20th of February at 11pm… ohh it’s going to be a late one mum.  Club visuals are also there from VJs Pfadfinderei. The night is part of the Glasgow Music & Film Festival. Now where is my glow sticks?

There is nothing wrong with a mooshy mooshy love story, and when your feeling fat and sorry for yourself (I have a cold so have been gorging on chocolate the past four days) there is nothing like a good sob story of someones else’s heartache and  life tragedy to make you feel better!

So, I’m treating my best girl friend to go see Romeo and Juliet at the Citizens Theater in Glasgow on the 28th of February.  Tickets are £8 so plenty of pocket money left over to buy my weight in Galaxy!

mmm now my brain is on the sweet sugary stuff- here is a run down of my fav’s.

1. Aero. (mint or plaie, I cant decide)
2. Kinder Bueno.
3. Terrys chocolate orange.
4. Dairy Milk Bubbly.
5. Wispa. (thank god they are back!)

So anyways, The night itself was a blast. The venue was packed with a shit load of girls wanting to be spotted and the atmosphere was very ‘girly’ girls all out to have a couple of drinks and loads of laughs with their mates. We got pissed, laughed lots, bitched lots and got lost trying get home from the night. Good one, do it again?… “ooh yaa darling”.

Putting the weird name aside — apparently the name of some tribe wandering about Iran — I love, love, love my Qashqai; and if you try come take it away from me, I’m sorry but I cannot be held responsible for my actions.

Now you’ve have had your warning, we can get on with the review.

The Nissan Qashqai has some set of “urban credentials” also known as Baws in Glasgow. It is a big beefy boy, but one that likes a bit of lipstick, silk underwear and a bottle of poppers at the weekend. This fruity figure of a man (still talking about the Qashqai here) has the exterior of the Royal British Guard standing in front of Buckingham Palace. Highly polished, stiff upper lip and a big furry hat. This car screams “Yeah I’m not as scary when I’m described that way, but fuck with me and I’ll have your scrotum for a change purse”. This car will give even the most feminine of drivers some great big hairy space hopper balls. The road my friend; is yours.

We have been lucky enough to have some snow in this old Country of ours lately and this is where the Quasqai really let me down. Could I have had a duvet day? No chance, the bloody thing held the road no problem and I ended up in work on time every day of the lovely white conditions. Nipping through town? No probs, switch on the 2 wheel drive and you can nip in and out the gridlock like a Smart Car.

Inside the Quasqai is comfortable, no luxurious; no… imagine the best damned VIP area without the booze and hard drugs, that’s how lush this car is. You have all the James Bond gadgetry at your finger tips. Connect your phone to the car for hand free dirty phone calls. Never bump into the bollard at Tesco again with the beepy beep-beep reverse assistance. Bollocks to Radio 1, a 6 CD changer is integrated via the dash and steering wheel. See what I mean about Lush?

So would I buy one of these city 4×4s. If you had asked me 6 months ago I would have went on about Chelsea tractors and fur coat no knickers Mums dropping off a solitary sprog at school before her morning and afternoon of cheap chardonnay and knee trembling spin cycles. But now I have one, I don’t want to go back to dodgem style cars like a Punto or God forbid a Sex in the City Mini. I’ve been spoiled. You cannot paint dogs’ bollocks in the finest filet mignon and expect him not to lick.

Annnd. I remember thinking this was one of the coolest adverts on the clever box, and now Im driving one of these. If only I was a giant who could kick flip!

He is dead and buried… a more-ish handful of dust somewhere in Ayrshire, but 250 years later we are still celebrating the life’s work of Scotland’s most famous womaniser, philosopher and bard; Robert Burns. A good 250 years hole in the head dead, but boy ‘o’ boy can he can still host a good party! Food, songs, drams and rubbing shoulders with some of Scotland’s finest z-list talents. It all made for a healthy hangover and some fun photos for the album on the morning after.

Held at Oran Mor at the top of Byres Road in Glasgow’s West End, my good self and a few bum chums checked out Burns night.
David MacLennan who is the man in the know when it comes to all things theatre and art, welcomed us all to the night before a choir called The Sirens of Titan held us all in a head lock with an appetiser of Burns in song and Cock-a-leekie soup.

Dave Anderson; another Scottish theatre darling waved a big machete in the air whilst reciting ‘Address to the haggis’  in  broad auld Scots using words that even I couldn’t comprehend let alone understand, before he stabbed a big bag of haggis and dished out our mains. History dictates that The Haggis is borne into the room to the screeching… I mean dullest tones of the  bagpipes and serenaded with Burns’ great paean to the stuffed sheep’s stomach, after the ceremonial piercing; the haggis is toasted with a traditional dram of whiskey. Bottoms up.

So you guess it, the main meal of the night was Haggis, neaps (swede) and tatties with a creamy pepper sauce, loved it! After dinner we had a toast to the Lassies by Jimmy McGregor, a great speech about how much Jimmy loved his women. Reminiscing to a young age when he would court them up the back close in the tenements of old Springburn with nothing more romantic than a poke of chips. Moira Kerr made a reply on behalf of the lassies; a witty speech and a wee sing-song.
Time for desert, the best bit. A Raspberry Cranachan tower with Moustarda of berries followed by coffee and traditional tablet.

David Hayman (the Trial and Retribution guy) made The Immortal Memory speech were he spoke of the charity work that some of Scotland’s finest are doing and the many Scots who have passed but should still be remembered. We of all people ended up with his business card at the end of the night and thought it would be funny sending him some text messages asking “Where do you get those shirts?”
More coffee and tablet.

The finally of the night was Karen Dunbar  her with the nostrils in ‘Chewing the Fat’ reciting what is probably Burns’ most famous poem; Tam O’Shanter. As with all things Karen is involved in, she was a great image up on the stage and got many a laughs from the tables around the room.

There was also a previewing of ten unique and strangely witty paintings, illustrating Burns’s Tam ‘O’ Shanter by the artist and author Charles Nasmyth.

So who was spotted? Robbie Coltrane, Duncan Ballantine, a shed load of the stars of Taggart and River City (I didn’t know any of them) and plenty of others just smelling of TV personality.

Now here is a question for you. What ever happened to moshing? Has skinny tight jeans stopped young knees from bending? I think so!

Anyways, I’ll get to that later on.

Bloc Party played at the 02 Academy last Monday (26th of January) and they were for lack of better words, very disappointing Francis.

So in I went, purchased my £3.50 pint of Carling, “probably the most tasteless tinny crap in the world” and settled in to Tommy Sparks, AkA Brian Ferry, The Jam, Billy Idol and Billy Elliot) all rolled up into one big ball of “granny dressed him before he left the house” cuteness. If he wasn’t 6ft odds you would just pick him up and put him in your pocket along side your Tamagotchi. For all intensive purposes Tommy Sparks was great support. OK so no topping the bill here, but the performance was accomplished and perfect for the upcoming headliner.

Now onto Bloc Party. After the lights dimmed some intense uplifting music pumped through the PA. Building in intensity in perfect sync with the crowds anticipation. Then it stopped the lights went up, the band fiddled with their guitars a bit then went into the opener. Bit of a damp squid.

So yeah, moshing. What ever happened to it? As Bloc Party Blasted out some head banging, ear bleeding tunes the crowed seamed to have a …………. romantic sway to them? No mosh pit, more a sway with your arms in the air congregation, are we all growing older than our years!!!

This was Bloc party’s second night in Glasgow and I think they must have been on the Tennents as they kept talking about how much they loved our fair city. I’m not the biggest Bloc Party fan, but at the same time I don’t dislike them. Their albums are polished pieces of uplifting, melodic musical art and I had similar expectations of their live set. Sorry kids what a let down. Instead of the clean crisp productions and clever hooks behind intense static. What I got instead was a noisy, rough cluttered garage band stuff you expect from your wee brother and his mates.